Usually after being on HRT for any length of time transsexual women will notice that erections start to become somewhat uncomfortable.  I don’t really notice it when I’m semi-erect, but as I get harder what I notice is that if I put any pressure on it, like pushing it from side to side, I get a rather sharp pain that extends past the base of my shaft and back towards my prostate. I’m not exactly sure of the physiology but I think it’s related to the suspensory ligaments and muscles.

I was really noticing it the last time Trixie and I were having sex.  She was on top of me and riding me pretty hard.  She also has a position that she loves where our legs are kind of scissored so she is humping me at an angle.  This causes my cock to curve to the side and hit her g-spot perfectly.  The pain from this combined with an urge to come was really intense.  I almost had to stop her at one point but I could tell she was getting close to an orgasm.   So I rode it out and we ended up coming at the same time which was made everything even more intense.

Another thing that I’ve been noticing lately is that I seem to stay erect or semi erect for a much longer time after cumming.  I’m not sure what the correlation is there if any.  But I notice that effect more after having sex than when masturbating.

I think this new development is going to force us to try out new positions sexually and revisit some old favorites.  Last night we did just that and I found that if I come first that the pain isn’t as bad and we can go back to Trixie’s favorite position if she still hasn’t gotten off.  So there’s going to be a bit of trial and error.   I’m sure people watching on our spy cams will welcome the break from our usual routine though.

Delia's gothy tgirl Queen of Hearts

Here’s a twitpic that I posted as well: http://twitpic.com/mp9p1

Love these feather lashes

192 pictures available now in my Members-Only area.

It’s what I’ve been calling the tgirl goth version of the Queen of Hearts. After seeing the preview for Tim Burton’s adaptation of Alice in Wonderland I thought it would be a good time to pull out this costume. It’s kind of funny, when I was decorating for this set I almost didn’t use the plastic couch cover. It was too big for our love seat so I had a hard time trying to get it to look right. So I was about to ditch it and try something else. I’m glad I didn’t because it actually looks pretty good in most of the pictures. The feather eye lashes were one of my favorite things about this costume. Every time I blinked they would flutter around.

Reminder: Halloween is also my birthday – if anyone is wondering what I REALLY want for my birthday this year, the answer is BOOBS!!! It’s something that I’m really hoping to have the funds for by the new year, so every bit helps

ZIPS
I’ve had a lot of requests from people over the years to have zipped files of my picture sets available. I’ve had a few reservations about doing it but it seems to be a norm nowadays in the industry and almost expected from any adult website. So last week I finished zipping up all my high resolution (1600 pixels on the long side) picture sets on DeliaTS.com and they are now available in my members-only area.

Trixie And Friends
I’m usually pretty good about posting what  is going on in the members area here on my blog, but I do tend to miss a few things here and there.  Also I think sometimes people don’t realize all the new content that is going up on the other sites that you get access to when you join my site.  So now you can find out what is going on with all of our sites on one spot – TrixieAndFriends.  For  more details check out this post from Trixie’s blog.

Cam Shows
I’ll be doing two hour long cam shows this week on Friday the 30th and Saturday the 31st/Halloween/My Birthday.  Members should check the calendar for details.

Keep an eye out for more Halloween hootenanny!!!

Trixie and I made the best of the situation though and did some shopping. We bought a bunch of new panties to shoot in, some Halloween decorations for an upcoming shoot, a crock pot (I’ve been wanting one for a long time so I’m really excited about it), and a new bed for our dog.

Nico was having a lot of problems with her old bed. It was a round bed with thick cushioning around the edges and a pillowy bed in the center (thus the name – Bagel Bed). She was having problems getting comfortable and would circle around and around whimpering as she went. Sometimes she would settle on the edge then flop out of it. It was really sad and painful to see and hear.

So her new bed is a lot bigger and rectangle shaped. I was a little worried that it was going to be too puffy for her but it seems to be matting down a bit already. It took a little trial and error but I think she is starting to find the “sweet spot” in the middle and seems SO much more comfortable and happy It makes me wonder though if being curled up in a tight little ball in her old bed might have been actually causing or exacerbating some of the nerve damage that was effecting her hind legs. She is doing a lot better lately and seems to be getting around a lot more easily these days. She also just finished the prednisone cycle that the vet prescribed so I’m sure that helps too.

Yesterday I did my first cam show on the girls side of Amateur CamZ (which is now merged with Private CamZ). When I first signed up to CamZ I was doing shows for my guy site and my crossdressing site. And since they are only set up on the binary (either guy or girl, no transgender) I did all my shows on the guy side. There are actually only a few guys that do shows there and I was the only transgender person doing shows there for a long time (There was one post op transsexual that was doing shows on the girls side for a little while.). After I began my transition I felt less and less comfortable doing shows on “Guy CamZ”. It just didn’t make sense anymore.

The shows on the girls side get a lot more traffic, popular girls can have over a thousand viewers during a show. Thus the chat rooms are much more lively and consequently there tend to be more obnoxious assholes in chat as well. With the smaller shows on the guys side the chat is usually pretty slow and they don’t provide an admin so you have to manage your own chat while doing a show. So having an admin is definitely a plus as well as getting a lot more exposure. People still come in to chat just stir things up or WILL act astonished or disgusted about seeing a penis on a girl (Even though it clearly states that I am trans/shemale/tgirl on the show description). But yesterday the cam cop was right on top of it booting people left and right.

I have mixed feelings about doing shows there for a lot of other reasons that I don’t really want to go into. But for now I think it’s going to be a good thing.

These are a few pictures from my Fall Fairy shoot that I’ll be posting on Saturday.  I think they turned out really cute.  It’s amazing what a difference a simple little thing like a sparkly flower in your hair can make in a shoot.

I always looked forward to Halloween and my birthday as a kid and a lot of that enthusiasm carried over into adulthood.  For quite a few years my birthday party would include a trip to the local haunted house that a charity group put together every year.  It’s amazing how black lights and a few strobe lights carefully timed to someone sneaking up behind you and screaming like a mad man can scare the bejeezus out of you as a kid (and probably still as an adult).

So this is my little tribute to Autumn.  I’ll be doing a few other specially  themed shoots for fall and Halloween.  So be looking for them in upcoming days & weeks.

People don’t always realize how much goes into creating our sites. Trixie did all the design work, layout, and graphics herself. She deserves a ton of credit for creating a beautiful looking tour that is chocked full of keywords and carefully placed pictures and graphics. The members area is even nicer! Again great graphics and design work and easy to navigate. All this while shooting fresh content for my weekly updates and modeling for her own site. Not to mention doing cam shows and dealing with billing companies, members, etc.

Okay, it’s not like I was just laying on the couch scarfing down bon bons the whole time. We do work as a team on a lot of things. I ended up working on moving content over and reformatting it to fit the new design. And other little things like the preview video. Oh yeah, I did the redesign here for the my blog too. Anyway, I hope you like the new design as much as I do

**Reminder for Members: Cam shows on Friday and Saturday see calendar for details.

For some reason YouTube always grabs the worst frames for my preview. I wish there was a way you could make your own preview pic. My voice sounds a little Micky Mouse-ish at times but it’s getting there. I’ve been trying to do at least a half an hour of vocal exercises everyday sometimes a bit more.

So after initially coming out to my parents they’ve had a little bit of a backlash. We’ve exchanged a few emails and I’ve talked to my mom a few times since coming out to them. They’re still in a bit of shock and denial I think. They’ve done a few annoying things like sending me Christian Science literature in a package with my boy name written in big letters and continuing to send email to my old address (which was also my boy name) instead of my new one (which they have and is also my new name). But overall I think it’s going really well and they’re even talking about flying out here next month for my birthday. I think once they actually see me and we get to spend some time together it will make things a little easier for them to comprehend.

I did make a little video for them just so they could have a better idea of how I look and sound these days. They haven’t said anything about it so I don’t even know if they’ve looked at it yet. Oh well, time will tell.

I’ve been pretty consumed these last few weeks, pushing to get everything in order.  I tend to hyper focus on tasks like that and end up letting other important things fall to the wayside a bit.   Things like:  sleeping, cooking, cleaning, personal hygiene, they all take more of a back seat.

I’m really glad that we’ll be getting out of town for a few days to do some shoots at a rustic cabin.  Though it will still be work, it will at least take me away from the computer for awhile and will be a welcomed shift in focus.  I just hope the weather holds up for us!

I’ll leave you with this parting shot:

Things are really starting to look up!

Boobs after 1 year HRT

If I had to choose between the two though I would want to have the facial surgeries done.  I mean most people in real life never see me naked.  They do however see my face on a day to day basis.  So having the facial surgeries would make me feel a lot more comfortable about my outward appearance.  And boobs are pretty easy to fake with some clothing over them.

So having the boobs done first is kind of a means to the end.  But I think it will be really good for my self esteem also.  Besides you guys love a nice set of knockers right?

I think the $6000 is a more realistic goal and should be enough for a good boob job.   Again the money goal might change once I have had a consultation.

Remember every little bit will help! No donation is too small.

Thanks again to all the people who have chipped in so far. You guys are the BEST!!!

Last Saturday the 22nd marked my first full year of HRT.  I actually started out on a fairly low dose and increased the dosage a few months later.  It is exciting though to be seeing and feeling some of the effects that hormones have had on me.  I know I’ve mentioned these before but things like the softening of my skin and hair (not only hair on my head but the rest of my body), the gradual shifting of fat that has taken place on my body and even on my face.  And of course the boobies!  I haven’t really gotten a lot of growth on my chest but there is enough that I can almost fill an A cup now.  They are also still pretty sore so I think may still get some more growth yet.  Emotionally I feel a little more at ease. I feel like it’s getting easier for me to let things flow out of me when they need to.   It’s not completely overboard,  I’m not bawling ever 10 mins or anything, but I have notice that I have a more emotional reaction to many things especially things that are “touching”.

Yesterday I finally got up the nerve to come out to my parents.  It’s something that I told myself I would do during my first year of HRT.  So at least I wasn’t too far off the mark.  They took it surprisingly well.  I had a long letter written out and I basically read it to them and they listened to the entire thing then we discussed it.  I know they were a little shocked but they were also very open and accepting.  I did get lucky in one way, it turns out one of my mom’s best friends when I was growing up also has a child that is transgender.  So they had some firsthand experience with someone close and actually have seen that it’s not the end of the world or anything.  The added bonus is that this person (who was 6 or 7 years younger than me) apparently is having a really successful transition and will be undergoing SRS soon.

I think my mom was having a little problem visualizing it so it might take her a little longer to let go of her old image of me.  I think once she actually sees me it will make things easier.   She kept asking questions about how I was presenting now and how I dressed.  She seemed a little dismayed when I told her that I had gotten rid of almost all of my boy clothes.  My mom, “So, can’t you just be a gay guy or something?” Me, “Ummmm, that’s not quite the way it works.” .  I then went on to explain the difference between sexuality and gender to her.  I’m sure it’s going to take awhile before it all sets in with them, but I think it’s off to a really good start.  I’m really glad that they have friends that have gone through it all as parents and will be able to offer them support as things progress.

The third and perhaps most significant of the the three is that today I am celebrating my first full year of sobriety.  It’s hard for me to convey what a huge impact this has had on my life.  I’m slowly learning how to let go of things in my life and embrace new ones.  I couldn’t have done it without the love and support of Trixie and the aid of other alcoholics & a 12-step program.  Though I haven’t worked all the steps I have definitely benefited from other people sharing their experience, strength and hope with me.  The most surprising aspect of recovery for me has been the development of a more spiritual way of living.  I’ve never been a religious person and doubt that I ever will be.  But I have come to believe that there is a power out there that is greater than myself – a spiritual realm if you will -  that I can only really liken to the Force.  So I guess in a sense my religion is Star Wars, lol.  May the force be with you!

I’ve always been a fan of njoy toys and have wanted one for quite awhile.  This one is called the Fun Wand and it definitely lives up to it’s name.  The curve on this is perfect for prostate stimulation and the graduated beads give you an extra little pop as they slide in and out.

This ended up being a rather large gallery (282 pictures) with a lot of other nice pics like this one:

The full gallery is now up in my members area and I just started editing the video.  The video (which I’ll be updating with this weekend) looks pretty hot!  I was able to hit my prostate just right with the fun wand and able to give it the perfect amount of stimulation with one hand while I was stroking my hard cock with my other.  As I felt my orgasm building I let go of my cock altogether and just concentrated on the anal pleasure.  It ended up being the first time I have ever cum with nothing stimulating my penis at all.  It felt pretty incredible and made me look forward to using my new toy much more in the future.  Thanks Chris!