Trans Vlog #10
I made this vlog a few weeks back just after my first year on HRT. I post the longer versions with nudity in my members area and I usually post a g-rated version for YouTube.
For some reason YouTube always grabs the worst frames for my preview. I wish there was a way you could make your own preview pic. My voice sounds a little Micky Mouse-ish at times but it’s getting there. I’ve been trying to do at least a half an hour of vocal exercises everyday sometimes a bit more.
So after initially coming out to my parents they’ve had a little bit of a backlash. We’ve exchanged a few emails and I’ve talked to my mom a few times since coming out to them. They’re still in a bit of shock and denial I think. They’ve done a few annoying things like sending me Christian Science literature in a package with my boy name written in big letters and continuing to send email to my old address (which was also my boy name) instead of my new one (which they have and is also my new name). But overall I think it’s going really well and they’re even talking about flying out here next month for my birthday. I think once they actually see me and we get to spend some time together it will make things a little easier for them to comprehend.
I did make a little video for them just so they could have a better idea of how I look and sound these days. They haven’t said anything about it so I don’t even know if they’ve looked at it yet. Oh well, time will tell.
You remind me of a TS girl I knew in New Orleans.
Sheila was always so concerned with her transition and passing.
The truth was, that she was a wonderful person with a spirit that made me immediately adore her. It was her inner self that projected outward, signaling the presence of a warm, friendly woman, to the rest of the world. She had been just as an attractive spirit when she was a man, but she just didn’t sense that, nor was she at peace with who she was in those days.
You needn’t speak in a falsetto, nor create a new facade of any sort. Just relax and be you.
Personally I am not put off by TS women who still have male voices. I would rather hear a girl with a baritone voice than hear someone struggling to emit a falsetto voice that is both uncomfortable for the speaker and distracting for the listener. But, that choice is up to you. I just want you to know that many in society are not concerned about how much you can sound like a stereotypical woman.
My impression is that people will always be drawn to you, not for any external modifications, but because you are becoming comfortable with your inner self and as a consequence, projecting a positive vibe (and probably pheromones) to those who see and hear you. Even those who only see you via pictures can sense your growing sense of inner comfort and positive energy.
If you were still one of the guys, you would be the sort who would easily be enjoyable company for a ball game or camping. As a woman, you are attractive for those same inner qualities, but just packaged a little differently, and of course, you are more comfortable.
Just live a good life.
I *do* know that there are a lot of TS women who don’t really care about how they sound and are okay with using their male voices after they transition. Though you may not be put off by it, the fact is that many people are. Personally it *is* an important part of my own transition and overall presentation.
To me it is something that is totally worth the work you put into it. Struggling in a falsetto as you put it is just a stage, part of the transition to a more beautiful and natural sounding feminine voice. *Note I didn’t say sounding like a stereotypical woman.* I have no desire to speak in a some affected sing song voice that ends up sounding like a guy trying to sound like a woman. But if that is a stage I have to go through to achieve my goal, than so be it.
Being more comfortable and confident with my voice will come in time. It’s something that I actually enjoy working on and practicing, like one might enjoy practicing at a musical instrument. It’s not something I’m completely obsessed with or feel like is holding me back from “living a good life”. Just a small challenge and there’s nothing I like more than a good challenge
you’re so cute! good for you on coming out to your parents about the change! I wish I had the courage to do that with my family about sex work. way to go girl! hope you raise enough money for your boobies!
xx
Thanks Sequoia! And right back atcha on the cuteness thing. Great blog too, btw.
As a mother of 5 I am so proud of you. You look great, sound great, and wow. . . just over all very happy with your choices. You rock!!! I have 4 sons and if any of them ever came to me with this news I would hope they would be as comfortable with themselves as you are. Never stop being your self baby!
Lizz
Thank you Lizz! It was actually a pretty awkward and uncomfortable conversation. I’m just glad that I was able to get through it. I hope you never have to go through anything like that with your kids. You seem like you’d be a pretty cool mom though, so I’m sure they would be comfortable talking with you