People keep asking me when the new site will be up and the best answer I have at this point is soon.  It’s been a real challenge doing all the things that I do already for DeliaCD and working on DeliaTS at the same time.  Trixie has been doing most of the design work while I’ve been working on getting all the content ready (building photo galleries and video pages)  and plugging things  in where they need to go.   We’re almost ready to submit it to our billing company (CCBill) for approval, which shouldn’t take too long.  I’m getting really excited!  It’s gonna be finger lickin’ good

I’ve been pretty consumed these last few weeks, pushing to get everything in order.  I tend to hyper focus on tasks like that and end up letting other important things fall to the wayside a bit.   Things like:  sleeping, cooking, cleaning, personal hygiene, they all take more of a back seat.

I’m really glad that we’ll be getting out of town for a few days to do some shoots at a rustic cabin.  Though it will still be work, it will at least take me away from the computer for awhile and will be a welcomed shift in focus.  I just hope the weather holds up for us!

I’ll leave you with this parting shot:

Things are really starting to look up!

So you might have noticed that I made a slight change to my Chip In badge on the sidebar. I’ve decided to take things more piecemeal with my surgeries and break them up a bit. I’m thinking that getting a boob job first would probably be the wise thing to do in terms of achieving my goals.  I’m hoping that by getting the boobs done now I will increase my earning potential and be able to save more money. Then I’ll be able to have the other surgeries done a little later on.

Boobs after 1 year HRT

If I had to choose between the two though I would want to have the facial surgeries done.  I mean most people in real life never see me naked.  They do however see my face on a day to day basis.  So having the facial surgeries would make me feel a lot more comfortable about my outward appearance.  And boobs are pretty easy to fake with some clothing over them.

So having the boobs done first is kind of a means to the end.  But I think it will be really good for my self esteem also.  Besides you guys love a nice set of knockers right?

I think the $6000 is a more realistic goal and should be enough for a good boob job.   Again the money goal might change once I have had a consultation.

Remember every little bit will help! No donation is too small.

Thanks again to all the people who have chipped in so far. You guys are the BEST!!!

Well it’s been a pretty eventful few days around here for me.  I definitely have a lot of things worth celebrating in life and many things to be thankful for.

Last Saturday the 22nd marked my first full year of HRT.  I actually started out on a fairly low dose and increased the dosage a few months later.  It is exciting though to be seeing and feeling some of the effects that hormones have had on me.  I know I’ve mentioned these before but things like the softening of my skin and hair (not only hair on my head but the rest of my body), the gradual shifting of fat that has taken place on my body and even on my face.  And of course the boobies!  I haven’t really gotten a lot of growth on my chest but there is enough that I can almost fill an A cup now.  They are also still pretty sore so I think may still get some more growth yet.  Emotionally I feel a little more at ease. I feel like it’s getting easier for me to let things flow out of me when they need to.   It’s not completely overboard,  I’m not bawling ever 10 mins or anything, but I have notice that I have a more emotional reaction to many things especially things that are “touching”.

Yesterday I finally got up the nerve to come out to my parents.  It’s something that I told myself I would do during my first year of HRT.  So at least I wasn’t too far off the mark.  They took it surprisingly well.  I had a long letter written out and I basically read it to them and they listened to the entire thing then we discussed it.  I know they were a little shocked but they were also very open and accepting.  I did get lucky in one way, it turns out one of my mom’s best friends when I was growing up also has a child that is transgender.  So they had some firsthand experience with someone close and actually have seen that it’s not the end of the world or anything.  The added bonus is that this person (who was 6 or 7 years younger than me) apparently is having a really successful transition and will be undergoing SRS soon.

I think my mom was having a little problem visualizing it so it might take her a little longer to let go of her old image of me.  I think once she actually sees me it will make things easier.   She kept asking questions about how I was presenting now and how I dressed.  She seemed a little dismayed when I told her that I had gotten rid of almost all of my boy clothes.  My mom, “So, can’t you just be a gay guy or something?” Me, “Ummmm, that’s not quite the way it works.” .  I then went on to explain the difference between sexuality and gender to her.  I’m sure it’s going to take awhile before it all sets in with them, but I think it’s off to a really good start.  I’m really glad that they have friends that have gone through it all as parents and will be able to offer them support as things progress.

The third and perhaps most significant of the the three is that today I am celebrating my first full year of sobriety.  It’s hard for me to convey what a huge impact this has had on my life.  I’m slowly learning how to let go of things in my life and embrace new ones.  I couldn’t have done it without the love and support of Trixie and the aid of other alcoholics & a 12-step program.  Though I haven’t worked all the steps I have definitely benefited from other people sharing their experience, strength and hope with me.  The most surprising aspect of recovery for me has been the development of a more spiritual way of living.  I’ve never been a religious person and doubt that I ever will be.  But I have come to believe that there is a power out there that is greater than myself – a spiritual realm if you will -  that I can only really liken to the Force.  So I guess in a sense my religion is Star Wars, lol.  May the force be with you!

I’m not sure if it’s the hormones or if I’m just reaping the benefits of years of practice but I have to say that I’m really enjoying anal stimulation lately.  Needless to say I was extremely pleased when one of my members sent me a special gift in the mail from one of the sites on my wish list page.

I’ve always been a fan of njoy toys and have wanted one for quite awhile.  This one is called the Fun Wand and it definitely lives up to it’s name.  The curve on this is perfect for prostate stimulation and the graduated beads give you an extra little pop as they slide in and out.

This ended up being a rather large gallery (282 pictures) with a lot of other nice pics like this one:

The full gallery is now up in my members area and I just started editing the video.  The video (which I’ll be updating with this weekend) looks pretty hot!  I was able to hit my prostate just right with the fun wand and able to give it the perfect amount of stimulation with one hand while I was stroking my hard cock with my other.  As I felt my orgasm building I let go of my cock altogether and just concentrated on the anal pleasure.  It ended up being the first time I have ever cum with nothing stimulating my penis at all.  It felt pretty incredible and made me look forward to using my new toy much more in the future.  Thanks Chris!

Last week’s update featured some really cool foot and upskirt shots. Here’s a few samples – JOIN NOW to see the full set of 136 pictures in my members area.

Last week I had a yet another laser hair removal session on my face and neck area. They’ve been getting more and more intense since we’re going after the more stubborn areas. So for the first time since I started two years ago I actually got a bit of a burn between my lower lip and chin. It’s not too bad and looks like it will be fully healed by the end of the week. It wasn’t sore at all but it was was oozing pus for a few days and scabbed up a bit. It looked like I had a little soul patch for a couple of days and I had to stay out of the sun, which wasn’t a problem because I didn’t really want to go out with some ridiculous looking soul patch scab on my face. Next time I think I’ll have them kick it down a notch.

I wanted to send out a big congratulations my friend Mandy who has made the move to the big leagues. Her new site Mandy-Mitchell.com went live over the weekend. She’ll be working with the same people who run  TS Jesse, Kimber James, Kelly Shore, Sexxxy Jade and a slew of other great sites.  She’ll no longer be updating her old site but her old webmaster is going to keep it active as an archive. It looks like most of her older content has been moved to the new site in addition to some really hot newer content. If you are a fan of Mandy be sure to check it out!

I told myself I wasn’t going to respond to a rather offensive and bizzarre email that I received the other day, and I didn’t. But I did want to address a comment this person made about me having a “hopelessly skinny” ass:

Sometimes people wonder how I feel about having all the content that I shot as a male still available on the internet or why I don’t just take it all down.

I have to admit that it does feel weird to look back on some of those pictures. In a way it’s like looking at pictures of when I was a kid or even baby pictures. But instead of thinking Wow, was I ever really that little. or Boy I was an awkward kid. instead I’m thinking Wow, did I really ever look that masculine. It makes me cringe a little when I see certain body and facial features that I dislike being displayed so prominently.  Granted I would play up the macho angle in a lot of those pictures. But the funny thing is that I never felt as masculine as I appeared, nor did I ever see myself as attractive as a male.  A lot of the time I felt pretty miserable about my outward appearance.  I guess that’s why in so many of them I am also drinking an alcoholic beverage.  Mostly I have a weird disconnected feeling when looking back on them though, as if I’m looking at pictures of someone else, someone I don’t even know.  And, since the person in those pictures *does* represent someone completely different from who I am today, I guess that makes sense.

It also feels a little weird to me to see some of the current porn that I shoot with Trixie that is POV or “stunt cock” work.  Most of it you just see my dick and part of my legs or maybe a bit of my belly.  Sometimes you hear me speaking in a male voice.  I think most people would naturally assume that it was a guy who was shooting it.  Trixie did say that in the last little thing we shot that my legs look totally soft and girly.  So I think my manly man stunt cock days may be numbered.

I totally understand why most transsexual women don’t like to share old photos or personal information about who they were while they were living in the gender assigned to them at birth. Basically, some people are just assholes and will use that information maliciously to try to de-legitimize their current gender status. Having that sort of evidence floating around makes it easier for those who are intentionally or unwittingly ignorant to claim trans people are “less than” rather than equal to.  Also some people *do* treat you differently once they either know you are ts or have seen pre-transition images, even if they are the most open minded people in the world. Most trans people work really hard at erasing or at least minimizing the traces of their pre transition sex in order to simply be treated like anyone else in their gender.  And in the one brief instance that someone is exposed to something as simple as an old picture all that work can go right down the tubes.

I’m sure I have lost potential members after they have seen my boy pictures. For some guys (and especially those who consider themselves straight) it’s just a hard image to shake from their minds. But I think most people are going to see what they want to see. At this point, even if I wanted to, it would be virtually impossible for me to wipe out all the pictures of me as a guy that are floating around the internet. And since some people do *only* enjoy my guy pictures I don’t feel too bad about having them available for a small fee

My life has changed in so many ways in the past few years.  I’m making a whole new start not only as a woman but also as a sober person.  I try to look forward and make a little progress every day and not dwell too much on the past.  At the same time it’s hard to measure progress if you don’t have a starting point.  Today I have a clearer understanding of where I came from and also a stronger focus on where I am heading. There’s a passage in AA literature about not regretting the past nor wishing to shut the door on it.  Of course there are plenty of things I would do differently if I could do it all over knowing what I do today.  But if I seriously want to be happy and whole for the remainder of my years here on good old planet Earth, I need to not feel any more shame or guilt about who I am and how I got here.  That is why I came out and began to transition in the first place and that is what will keep me sober.